Done, Done, Done, Done, Done, Done, Done!!!!

It's 2:10 am on April 1, 2006- my dissertation deadline is here! My printer is droning away, printing out a document that I've only seen on my computer screen thus far. I'm so excited to look at it that I'm pulling each page out one by one as it prints...waiting for the whole document is taking too damn long! Here I sit, listening to my printer, staring at my empty glass of chocolate milk. Noah is asleep in his car seat on the bed behind me (that's where he likes to sleep these days), and Buddy is curled up on the bed beside him. Paul and Jacob have been asleep for hours. I am relieved, shocked, elated, tired...I can't believe that this headache that I've had for the past three years (called "dissertation") is almost behind me. It may sound masochistic, but part of me has been enjoying these all-nighters..because it's probably the end of them for me. Sure I'll have the all-nighters with my newborn, but the coffee-drinking, bleary eyed, plowing-through-a-project work, is coming to an end. It's the bittersweet ending of this long road of graduate school, that started nearly 7 years ago, and is now ending. Interestingly, I realized recently that it's been 10 years since I graduated from WVU...in a blink, it will be 10 years since I finished my doctorate...I don't want the time to fly...I want to relish all of it, even the 4am worknights....So now I prepare my presentation for my final defense, on April 21, when I discuss my project in front of my committee, and answer whatever questions that they will have for me...and then I will be finished. I really can't believe it.......

Dissertation Countdown....5....4...3...2...1...

My dissertation baby is a trooper....he just chills on the pillow while I type over him....sometimes......These past few weeks have been insane....well, it's been insane since about 2/15/06....but I've definitely taken it up a few notches over the past few weeks. 5 days from now I am required to submit my complete final dissertation draft to my committee. I have been working night and day (while not nursing or changing diapers) to meet this deadline. As is usual, the imposition of a deadline (not my own) finally got my ass into gear to finish. I have been getting little to no sleep at all...maybe 2 -3 hours a night...and I'm NOT a zombie...yet....which is strange. Here is where I think that 6 weeks with a newborn conditioned me to need no sleep at all. A good thing; for now. Been drinking too much coffee, been sleeping in my clothes, grossly neglecting household duties...indulging in my sweets addiction because that's what I do when I'm stressed...and this project is hell, I have to say, it's tedious and brutal and I have to think alot harder than I'd like to be right now..but somehow I'm getting it done despite myself. I spent a lot of time doing the mindless, time-consuming formatting and the hateful tables, and the umpteen pages of references....all mindless, but so time-consuming. Now I'm let with the part where I have to think REALLY hard, to tie it all together, to explain what I did and why, and why it means something. I just closed my eyes and jumped in...I'll see what I've written when I look again in the morning...I'm just too tired to read right now........Anyway, it's 2:30am and I am rambling, I realize...but I really see the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally- 6.5 years later...part of me is euphoric..and disbelieving that it's almost over...another part..is, well..ambivalent. Life goes on...I turn in my "paper"...present my findings in a few weeks....get another diploma in another few weeks.....I guess my life isn't really focused on work...or school right now, so the accomplishment is a little lost...I'm wrapped up in diapers, playgroup, late night feedings, time-outs, and trying to help Jacob to feel that his life hasn't been turned upside down while giving Noah the attention that he needs....kind of makes a "dissertation" seem a little silly, now doesn't it? Okay, I'm off for a nap until Noah wakes again....

Bouncing Baby Boy!

Noah Louis arrived on Wednesday, February 15, 2006, at 3:12pm, weighing 6lbs, 10oz! He was a bit early, and spent a bumpy week in the NICU, but all is well and he is healthy as a horse! Big Brother Jacob is very excited! More pictures/details to come soon!