Malapropism: Ludicrous misuse of a word, especially by confusion with one of similar sound.

Examples of malapropisms and other ridiculous statements heard within my brother's office. He keeps tally!

Vivid was used for livid:

I am absolutely vivid because Frank won’t answer me.

Gloating was used instead of glowing:

Denise is gloating because she got married over the weekend.

Fiction was used in place of friction:

Before we had these meetings, there was a lot of fiction between the employees and the managers.

Divulge was used instead of indulge:

After Steve leaves for work, I divulge in the kitchen because food is my companion.

Fatigues was used instead of physique.

That wrestler has a great fatigues.

380 degrees was used instead of 180 degrees…

The ship did a 380!

There is a t-shirt that says, “There’s no I in T-E-A-M.. but there is in Kiss my ass!” -- WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?

I’m taking my daughter to look at Kutztown University. – Only she pronounced it cunts-town.

It’s the whole nine feet! - Instead of the whole nine yards..!

King of Russia Mall, instead of King of Prussia!

Ex-lax was confused with anthrax:

Oh my God, Frank, there’s an ex-lax scare in New York and people are running everywhere!

Mispronounced Al-Qaeda.. And the question.. Has she been in a cave for the past six years?

Brian, what is Al-Cotta? (sounds like terra cotta!)


Her friend drives a PC cruiser.

VICES was used instead of versus

Going to the shore VICES going to the mountains.

She misspelled “donuts” and used “is” instead of “are”

There is donates on the back table… Enjoy!

She had to take sick family because her daughter had the chicken pots.

Confused pneumonia with ammonia

She was off sick with ammonia.